I Can't Sleep Without You Next to Me
by make.tracks.cowboy11
Summary: It's 4:03 and I can't sleep without you next to me; I toss and turn like the sea. D&L. Complete.


**Just a little something I thought of while listening to Shinedown a while back. Finally managed to get it down in writing! haha ;)**

**As always, feedback is appreciated :)**

**enjoy ! (:**

**--mtc.**

* * *

I Can't Sleep Without You Next to Me

_It's 4:03 and I can't sleep without you next to me;_

_I toss and turn like the sea._

_--Shinedown._

Lindsay grumbled as she turned over, daring to take a peek at her clock. The bright LED lights taunted her as the numbers 4:03 seemed to maniacally laugh back at her frowning face, almost seeming to say "You wish you could sleep, don't you?" But she knew she couldn't. Not without Danny's strong arms wrapped around her; that comforting gesture reassured her that it was alright for her to sleep, that he would protect her. But it was gone. Wiping the tears from her face, she reached under her pillow and pulled out a piece of worn out paper. It could be obviously seen that the parchment had been folded and refolded time and countless time again.

To anyone who casually picked it up it was a silly, meaningless note.

To her, it was her everything.

The ink was smudged with fingerprints, the fold lines so deteriorated that they were on the verge of tearing the paper into pieces, but she kept it safe and in tact. She both smiled and choked back a sob as she reread his scratchy handwriting for the umpteenth time.

_Montana-_

_Sorry I had to sneak out early. You're not the only one who's upset about it, I love watching you sleep, you're so darn cute :P _

_Anyway, I know it's your day off, so enjoy this "getting' rid of me" thing while it lasts, but come time for my shift to end, you're all mine ;) _

_Meet me at the Central Park entrance, eight o'clock sharp._

_I'll be waitin' for ya._

_-D_

_PS: Wear that black thing ya got hangin' in your closet, I like the way ya look in it._

It was that night that he had somehow managed to buy a horse and buggy for the night, that night that the stars seemed to be coordinated with the moon to light the park just perfectly. He draped his leather jacket around her shoulders, his arms around her waist, her head in the crook of his neck where it fit perfectly, where she felt she belonged. It was that night that he told her he loved her, admitted to her that he was scared to death but that he knew in his heart that this was the one thing in his life that he was certain of. She hadn't cried, wouldn't allow herself to, but instead took his hand and told him that she was scared too, but she knew that they would make it through anything.

She had clearly misjudged herself.

When he had suddenly shown up at their apartment with a suitcase in hand telling her that he couldn't do it anymore, she couldn't even muster up a response. He would fill up the bag with some clothes now and be back for the rest later while she was at work. It would make things less awkward, he had said. But she hadn't heard those words. Instead, the words "he's leaving you and never coming back" were ringing through her ears, just like the gun shots had so many years previous when that sorry excuse for a man had taken the lives of her friends. Each whizzing sound of a bullet seemed to be relaying the same message to her: They're leaving you and never coming back.

But that had been an involuntary act.

Danny was voluntarily pulling his worn out jeans out of their dresser, taking his toothbrush off of its place next to hers on the sink, taking his iPod off the dock on the kitchen counter. They had put it there so that they could listen to music as they cooked dinner together. As she stood frozen in silence in the foyer, it only foreshadowed the nights to come, absent of sound completely; no music to fill the halls, no sound of his laughter filling her heart, only the sound of her tears hitting her empty dinner plate. He walked to the couch and picked up the Yankees blanket he had bought her for the purpose of cuddling. He was obviously contemplating packing it with him, but had a second thought. With a sad smile he carried it over to her, still drenched in his scent, and placed it in her arms.

"You keep that."

It was the blanket that she was currently wrapped in while she lie awake, the note still clutched in her trembling hands, her head on his pillow, staring at the ceiling.

It had been three weeks since he had left. Twenty one days without his presence filling these lonely halls. Five hundred and four hours she had been in the apartment alone. Thirty thousand, two hundred and forty minuets without him.

She couldn't let another go by.

Without giving a second thought to putting actual clothes on over her tiny cotton pajama shorts and tank top, she got out of bed and began to set off into New York City at four twenty one in the morning in the dead of winter. She exited the apartment complex without so much as a glance at the three inches of show that soaked her bare feet. Or, for that matter, the man that was standing outside the intercom.

The man who was now darting down the street after her, yelling her name.

Only did she begin to notice her surroundings when two familiar hands grabbed her shoulders and spun her around.

"Lindsay, honey, what are you doing?"

Without even registering his face she melted into his embrace and began to sob.

----

When she opened her eyes, she was laying on her couch. The Yankees blanket had been draped around her shivering body to keep her warm. His leather coat was draped across her shoulders, his one arm around her waist while the other softly stroked her hair, her head lying in the crook of his neck right where it belonged. She needn't ask how they had come to be in this position. All that mattered was that she was back in his arms.

"I was coming to see you," she began, her voice raspy due to the length of time she had spent not speaking.

"Montana, it's negative ten degrees out there; you're in next to nothin'. Why would you risk frostbite just to come see me?"

She hesitated; the nickname hit another nerve in her that caused her tear ducts to pour open. "I couldn't sleep."

"Shh, it's okay baby, I've got you now."

They lay there like that for a while; he continued to whisper soothing words into her ear as he held her close, never wanting to let her go. What she couldn't see through her tear stained eyes were his own. She hadn't mustered up enough courage to look into his deep blue eyes yet, but if she had she would be staring at her own reflection. From the time he had showed up he had been a complete mess himself, but he couldn't let her see that. When he noticed her waking up after her brief nap, he had quickly wiped his tears away, only for them to be replaced all too quickly.

"Why were you outside my building?" Her same empty voice only caused his tears to flow harder. He pulled her in closer, if that was humanly possible.

"I needed you. I needed to see you, to hold you again…I couldn't sleep either."

It was her turn to hold him. As he let himself cry, she maneuvered herself to wrap her arm around his body, trying to hold him even closer than they had been. They squeezed each other tightly, afraid that if one or the other let go, they would wake up from this dream and be in the reality of their own nightmare. But it wasn't a dream, they soon realized. As they pulled away from their protective embrace to finally look each other in the eyes, they both knew that neither of them was about to get up and leave.

Without a word they both stood up at the same moment and walked back into their bedroom. Danny pulled back the covers and helped Lindsay lie down, never taking their eyes off of one another as he climbed in beside her and pulled her in close. They kissed passionately, their feelings racing between their lips as old and new were uncovered. They pulled back at the same moment and Lindsay cuddled into his chest, the reassuring warmth making her sleepy.

As Danny wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, he whispered softly in her ear, "I love you Lindsay."

Their eyes dropped heavy with the past weeks slumber catching up to them. Back in the love of each others arms, they could finally sleep, knowing that this was the only place in the world they needed to be.


End file.
